Wellness Wednesday: Why do “bad” things happen to good people?

Great risings my loves♡

This age-old question is what many of us ask ourselves when we find oursleves in tough times & our Peace is being tested. If there is anything I’ve learned in life, especially in the last 2yrs, is that it’s the unideal situation that propels you further in life than you ever could have imagined.

We each go through our own trials & tests, things that seem to push us to our limits. What if it’s not our limit? What if it’s a moment that is preparing us for our next higher level, a moment that will give us a story or lesson that we can bring into the next phase of our lives & even inspire someone along the way?

Big life changes are scary, but there is always something in the mystery of the unknown that helps us to let go & move forward in faith.

Moving into my new place with my daughter & accepting single motherhood was that unknown for me. “Why is this happening? This was not the plan!” Initially when my family life changed from 3-persons to 2-persons, I considered it as a “bad” thing for me. Dont get me wrong, as it still has its salty moments, where my Peace is tested from time to time, but moving & accepting single motherhood continue to teach me something new, something bitter, & something sweet. Here’s how the new, bitter, & sweet threw me off my Peace-game but also transitioned it into something even more beautiful:

New: we moved from the home we previously shared as a family. The move itself was hectic & crazy, from moving truck cancellations to long drives to get furniture & then being unable to fit some it through my new front door, needless to say, I was not at Peace that weekend. On the bright side, my daughter was super excited to get a new place, start a new school, & make new friends. Of course she cried almost the whole way to our new place on mving day, but still, she is happy to start a new chapter in life (her own words!). I am happy to have new space to call our own, a new place to make comfortable in our own way.

Bitter: no matter how long it seems, being single & raising a child seems to be a reality that hits hard sometimes, especially when you weren’t doing alone to begin with. The whole thing threw me for a loop & tests my Peace on countless occasions. The questions about my life path, womanhood, & motherhood seem to get louder in my head when being alone. This is not the ideal I had in mind when I started my family. I continue to learn, however, that adjusting to a new lifestyle that has no blueprint is a day to day process, with peaks & valleys with interesting things to see & learn along the way. I embrace it & teach my daughter to do the same, to always look to the silver linings & being the light in dark places. The biggest lesson so far: you never know how strong you are until that the only option you have. I am grateful for that too.

Sweet: I continue to have the opportunity to watch my little one grow & mature into a lovely young lady, as well as coming into my own as a woman, learning more about myself each day & remembering what it is to just be me. These parts are the best pieces of the puzzle. Some of my greatest moments of Peace are watching her in her independence & growth, & having the time to myself to understand who I am, further rediscovering my hobbies, & ways to enjoy myself, on my own & with friends & family.

What has helped me stay at Peace in those times where I start questioning everything about the journey is reminding myself that everything is in order as it should be for my life, as there is always something to learn from where I’m at, there’s always some beauty, & something to be grateful for. I am learning so much about this new path in my life & I embrace it, no longer fighting the currents but going with the flow. Not only do I benefit & grow stronger this way, but so does my daughter, who has two parents who conitnue to love & support her along the way.

“Bad” things don’t with happen to good people, but rather situations happen, period. With each step on our life’s journey, we come to points that throw us for a loop & think, “Why is this happening to me? I did everything right!” You can do everything ‘right’ & still find yourself in a place of dischord & inner turmoils. The key thing to rememeber in these times is to not get lost in those dark places, but to cling to what helps keeps you peaceful. Hold on to what brings you back to that place of serenity if even for a moment, so that you can see that those loops don’t last forever but rather for a reason in that season of time. They are there to teach us that even in those chatics times, we are still strong, resilient, & that our Peace of mind & Self still exists whenever we need it. Rough times happen, period, but they don’thave to define you. Let them build upon your strength & prepare for the next levels in your life.

Whatever it is that may be sending you on a spiral of woes, my hope is that you, too, find the new, underatand the bitter, & embrace the sweet. Love yourself & be yourself. Peace & Love♡☆

“Let go of your disappointments, mistakes and failures. May you find complete healing, renewed spiritual strength and courage to begin again.”- Lailah Gifty Akita